More About Eva | Parent & Peaceful

"I would quickly lose it and yell at my kids."

My name is Eva, like Mooniek, I was born and raised in the Netherlands, in Europe. I lived in Spain for many years, and now I live in a historic silk factory in France that my husband and I have been renovating for 4 years. I am a Mom of a 6-year-old girl and a 3-year-old boy, and we recently added a dog to the mix :)

Becoming a Mom turned my world upside down. Not only did I become a mother, but at the same time I changed countries (from Spain to France); I did not speak the French language, and I was suddenly a homebody, more than ever before. Before baby, I was used to traveling and working as a photographer, basically untethered. Big changes…. And then, to top it off, parenting turned out to be the hardest job I had ever done. It took me some time to find some sort of balance between being a mother, partner, friend, and so on. I felt so overwhelmed at times. I’m sure this sounds familiar to almost every parent.

The first couple of years, especially after my second child was born, I would quickly lose it and yell at my kids. Afterward, I’d feel guilty, and feel this terrible mom guilt. I would feel like a failure, over and over again. And what’s even worse, I could feel the connection with my kids deteriorating.

One day during our summer holiday, my daughter had this crazy, long tantrum. My partner and I both handled it poorly. That same evening I couldn't stop crying. Not only did I feel a huge amount of mom guilt - but I also realized that I felt thoroughly unhappy with the family dynamics that we had somehow developed. We were stressed and overwhelmed a lot of the time. And I wondered: Where did it go wrong? Where had we taken a wrong turn, when had we gotten lost? I craved for a way out. I knew there HAD to be a less stressful and better way of parenting!

The next morning, I started my studies around parenting. It all soon became a passion. I was unstoppable. A few years later I got certified as a parent educator and now I support parents who want to change how stuck they feel.

What I find fascinating about parenting is that one moment we can feel this beautiful connection with our kids - a true love, unlike anything we ever experienced before. Yet, in the next moment, it can awaken parts of ourselves that we didn’t even know existed. Ugly parts explode and make us act in ways that are terrifying for our kids, even for ourselves, and our partners. Explosions that we feel so ashamed of afterward. Maybe you can relate.

I can tell you honestly that I’m not a perfect Mom: perfect parents do not exist! Please don’t try to be one, we are all human, and yet because of our mistakes, we get the energy to find solutions.

I dare say that I have become a much better mother. For example, I am more mindful of how I parent and I am always working on myself. Our family dynamics feel healthier and full of potential. This is very exciting to observe and feel in our family.

Needless to say, through the years, I have read and studied many parenting books; I have followed intense courses that have given me a deep understanding of, for example, the child’s brain development and parents’ impact on it. Yes, we do have an impact on our child’s brain development! At first, I found that scary, like, ‘Gosh, how easily I can mess up my kids!’ However, with peaceful parenting, I saw how easy it is to learn, change, and progress.

What we do as parents on a day-to-day basis has a big effect on our child’s life. In contrast to what we thought as a child, growing up doesn’t just happen by itself.

I am here in support of you. My wish is that you feel less alone in your parenting journey. Because, let’s face it, parenting can feel incredibly lonely at times! We all need support - to feel heard, and seen, so we can grow.