Are you a parent and do you ever feel rage? Of course, you do, all parents do!
It’s OK to feel rage. Parents feel anger and it's normal.
Kids press our buttons at least 5 times a day, and while trying to be the best parent, hidden parts of ourselves get triggered that we didn’t even know existed. These are parts we are not proud of and that we often feel guilty about. You know how it goes, one moment you’re being the parent you always dreamed of being, and the next moment you hear yourself blaming, shaming, or yelling at your child.
All mothers and fathers lose it sometimes. When we feel tired, grumpy, or stressed, it becomes more difficult to stay patient and kind. In moments like this, the slightest discomfort can trigger us. Sometimes when we feel triggered, we forget to stay mindful and ‘lose it’.
Parent rage is a tricky topic. It awakens all sorts of unpleasant feelings, feelings we rather avoid. Parents seem to experience difficulty while admitting - to themselves and others - what they feel in the heat of a moment when their kid is throwing a tantrum in the supermarket for example.
Feelings of anger, resentment, overwhelm, and stress, are all too familiar, to ALL parents. Parent rage feels wrong, and many parents try to hide and ignore the feelings that their anger evokes...When we try to push these feelings away, they get stuck in our bodies and make us feel even worse.
What’s important to understand is that there’s nothing wrong with being a parent that’s feeling rage now and then. What matters is what you do with that rage.
This is where mindfulness comes into play. If you can manage to stay mindful about your feelings, your reaction to these feelings becomes a choice. How?
Start by facing your whole self instead of only accepting your best parts. Because of course, every best part also has a darker side. Parents are human, and we all get thrown into survival mode sometimes.
What’s great news is that we can ‘train’ our brain (like a muscle and with exercise) to become more aware of our thoughts and feelings. We can teach ourselves to ‘stay away from the edge’. When our emotions do take over, we can learn to ‘get back on track faster’ and enter a state of mind to repair, for example by saying: “Sorry honey, my emotions got the best of me, I should not have yelled at you. I love you and I will try to do better next time.” Repair is crucial in raising children. We will write more about this in future posts.
We can also invest in self-care so that these outbursts happen less often. Our next post will focus on ‘parents & self-care’.
Being a parent can feel lonely and rage makes parents even lonelier because it makes parents feel bad about themselves. That’s why it’s important to talk about it. Let's share stories about our rage, let’s start normalizing the feeling of rage instead of hiding it. And let's support each other by listening and caring instead of judging, and brainstorming better solutions for different situations.
Rage reveals shadow parts that most parents seem to want to avoid. Let's shine a bright light on the dark areas of ourselves and invite whatever’s hiding there. We are here to support you.
We transform families through peaceful parenting. This holistic approach first brings parents closer to their children, and like a bonus, moms or dads usually grow closer to each other.
Register and join our free webinar :)
Book a mini coaching session with Peaceful Parent Educators Eva or Mooniek
For more ‘free stuff’, click here
Feel very welcome to comment, ask questions, or get in touch: info@parentpeaceful.com.
Thanks so much for taking a moment to read our blog! Subscribe for free to our Substack
to stay updated and to receive our new posts filled with knowledge and advice to bring parents closer to their children - and closer together.
Comentarios